Crispy Ain’t Better – I Don’t Like Crunchy Food and I’m Not Sorry

Somewhere along the way, society decided that “crispy” was the universal badge of good food. The louder the crunch, the better it must be. That’s the logic. Fries gotta be crispy. Fish needs that crackly skin. Even pizza crust is supposed to have that crunch. It’s like if your food isn’t making noise, you’re doing it wrong. But let me be clear—I don’t like crispy anything. Not fries, not fish, not burnt edges, none of it. And I’m tired of people acting like that means I have no taste.

Crispy doesn’t equal flavor. In fact, more often than not, it’s a distraction from the flavor. A hard, dry, crusty layer that overpowers what could’ve been a soft, flavorful bite. Crispy fries? Usually just cold, hollow sticks with a loud shell and no center. Crispy fish? That thin layer of coating ends up being the only thing you taste. You don’t get the actual fish flavor—it’s just oil and crunch. And don’t get me started on people who act like burnt or extra-crunchy food is gourmet. That’s not enjoyable to me. I want food that feels good to eat. Food that doesn’t scrape the roof of your mouth or make your jaw tired halfway through.

It’s funny how people treat texture like it’s one-size-fits-all. But some of us don’t want resistance when we eat. I don’t want to fight my food. I want it to fall apart with ease, soak up flavor, and feel smooth going down. There’s something satisfying about softness when it’s done right—tender, juicy, cooked-through comfort. Give me fish that flakes, not fish that crunches. Give me fries that feel like actual potatoes, not brittle shoestrings. I’m not interested in loud food just for the sake of it being loud. Crunch doesn’t impress me. It just makes me wish it was cooked less.

I also don’t like how crispy food feels in your mouth after a few bites. It’s never as good after that initial snap. The texture turns stale real quick. You go from “oooh this is crunchy” to “dang, now my mouth feels dry.” There’s no staying power. Crispy food is like a one-hit wonder—it starts strong but wears out fast. Meanwhile, softer textures stay consistent. They don’t need theatrics. They’re dependable. And in my world, dependable food is better than a loud, crunchy moment that leaves me needing a glass of water after every bite.

People will say, “You just haven’t had it done right.” But no, I’ve had it every way possible. Gourmet, homemade, fast food, air-fried, deep-fried, oven-baked—you name it. It’s not about quality. It’s about preference. And my preference is clear: soft over crispy every time. Food shouldn’t feel like a workout. I don’t need crackle and crunch to feel like I’m eating something special. I just need flavor and comfort, and crispy food rarely delivers both.

So yeah, I’m that person who asks for their fries soft, their fish cooked light, and their food done how I actually like it. And I’m not changing that. Crispy doesn’t make it better—it just makes it louder. And I’m good on the noise.